Yesterday, I sent a friend of mine an e-mail asking for prayer support regarding an emotional thing. I felt the emotional dissonance the minute I woke up and it caught me by surprise. I immediately prayed and continued to do what needed to be done. I got up and spent time with the Lord then got ready for work. I left the house but confess I cried most of the way to work. I admit that I do not know the source of this emotional turmoil so all I could do was ask God to help me pull it together so I could get through the workday. I assured Him that if the emotions still needed to express themselves then I would let them, BUT…I needed to get through the workday first.
My friend replied back later in the morning (my day starts much earlier than hers) and told me that she had prayed that God would give me His peace in understanding this emotional thing and that He would give me peace as I “ride the wave.” She encouraged me by telling me that God was riding the wave with me.
“Ride the wave” brought an analogy to mind that this same friend offered to me a couple of years ago in the height of the most severe emotional pain I have ever felt. She told me that I would get through it and provided a word picture. She knows about my love of sports and extreme sports and I don’t know if that’s why she used this analogy or if God just gave it to her because He knew I would respond to it but the analogy went like this…
My friend told me that what I was experiencing was like riding a surfboard. The waves come and you go for a ride. Sometimes the waves are too rough or too big and they knock you off the board. My friend said that the waves I was experiencing were rough and big. She said I needed to keep getting back on the board and trying it again. The more I tried the better I would be become at identifying and managing my emotions. She was right. The difference between where I was at two years ago and where I am today is like the difference between surfing ankle snappers (that’s a small wave) to catching a big mama (that’s a big wave) off the North Shore of Oahu, Hawaii! Despite the emotional surfing skills I have acquired over the last two years, there are times when the rough and big waves will come and I must ride them out trusting that God is with me.
How do we ride out an emotional wave? Confess Scriptures from the Bible and anything that has a positive, faith-filled message. I say Scriptures out loud that describe peace and strength and power and victory. My friend and I have selected Philippians 4:13 to help us this year: “I can do all things through Jesus who gives me strength.” I speak words of encouragement to myself and just like a fin on a surfboard slices through the water and helps keep the surfer afloat and traveling in the direction s/he wants to go, the words I speak slice through the emotional wave going on in my soul. The Word of God keeps me afloat and moving in the direction I need to go. It takes practice and it takes time but eventually the emotional wave will have minimal impact and you will learn how to ride it. But every now and then an emotional wave will hit without warning and it’s great to have the Word of God and a friend help you get back on the board.
Surf’s up! Grab your board and let’s go surfing!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Today Is My Birthday
Today is my birthday. This time last year it was my birthday, too! :-) In my birthday post last year I wrote how for the first time in my life I was experiencing God’s pleasure with me. I am certainly not perfect, nor will I ever be perfect, but that does not matter because I discovered God has never asked me to be perfect. And being perfect has nothing to do with God loving me and being pleased with me.
This year I believe God asked me how I felt about my birthday. Interestingly enough, the first thought I had was about the story of Job found in the Bible. Job cursed the day he was born. He was going through some significant pain, physically, mentally, and emotionally and, in his pain, he cursed the day he was born. He had some extremely violent feelings about how he wished that day had never existed (see Job Chapter 3 in the Old Testament). On the heels of remembering Job’s feelings about the day he was born, I told the Lord that I am grateful for the day I was born. To be able to say this is an honest-to-goodness miracle. For years that turned into decades of my life, I wished I had never been born. I experienced significant pain that I could not let go of. That pain made me miserable every day of my life. While I never cursed the day of my birth like Job did, I lived daily with the feeling of hating that day. But God feels much differently about the days that each of us were born.
The Psalmist tells us a truth about himself that is true for all humans: God is our creator and we are fearfully and wonderfully made. God’s works are wonderful and the implication is that we are wonderful (Psalm 139:14). God told Jeremiah the prophet that God knew him even before Jeremiah had been concieved (Jeremiah 1:5).
God knows me and He knows you. He knew us even before we were conceived, even before our parents met and knew each other. God has known from the beginning that He would create us and we are no accidents. Regardless of the circumstances of your conception, God created you. He planned for and waited for your birth day. And God rejoices in the day you were born. He does not regret it.
I am grateful that God has healed me and set me free from the pain that consumed me for far too long. I no longer hate the day I was born and I no longer want to end my life. God, in His infinite love and mercy and grace, continues to teach me how to see myself the way He sees me. And I am learning to reject thoughts about myself that do not agree with God's thoughts about me. I praise God that He is much more merciful than I am.
Today is my birthday. And I praise God for the life He has given me.
This year I believe God asked me how I felt about my birthday. Interestingly enough, the first thought I had was about the story of Job found in the Bible. Job cursed the day he was born. He was going through some significant pain, physically, mentally, and emotionally and, in his pain, he cursed the day he was born. He had some extremely violent feelings about how he wished that day had never existed (see Job Chapter 3 in the Old Testament). On the heels of remembering Job’s feelings about the day he was born, I told the Lord that I am grateful for the day I was born. To be able to say this is an honest-to-goodness miracle. For years that turned into decades of my life, I wished I had never been born. I experienced significant pain that I could not let go of. That pain made me miserable every day of my life. While I never cursed the day of my birth like Job did, I lived daily with the feeling of hating that day. But God feels much differently about the days that each of us were born.
The Psalmist tells us a truth about himself that is true for all humans: God is our creator and we are fearfully and wonderfully made. God’s works are wonderful and the implication is that we are wonderful (Psalm 139:14). God told Jeremiah the prophet that God knew him even before Jeremiah had been concieved (Jeremiah 1:5).
God knows me and He knows you. He knew us even before we were conceived, even before our parents met and knew each other. God has known from the beginning that He would create us and we are no accidents. Regardless of the circumstances of your conception, God created you. He planned for and waited for your birth day. And God rejoices in the day you were born. He does not regret it.
I am grateful that God has healed me and set me free from the pain that consumed me for far too long. I no longer hate the day I was born and I no longer want to end my life. God, in His infinite love and mercy and grace, continues to teach me how to see myself the way He sees me. And I am learning to reject thoughts about myself that do not agree with God's thoughts about me. I praise God that He is much more merciful than I am.
Today is my birthday. And I praise God for the life He has given me.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
My Sins or God’s Greatness?
What do you think about the most? The mistakes you have made and sins you have committed? About how you think you are bad and worthless and unlovable? Or do you think about God’s greatness? About His great love toward you, Jesus’ death on the cross to free you from sin and condemnation, the abundant life God has for you, and the love, peace, and joy that are prepared for you?
I spent just about all my life thinking about my sins and everything I had done wrong. It was not uncommon for me in my early forties to think about things I got in trouble for when I was four or five years old! I sat around and nursed all the memories of my mistakes and sins and continued to condemn myself for all of them. As a result, I could not let God penetrate my heart or my mind with His love. I wanted Him to and I know God wanted to but I built all these strongholds based on lies in my mind that made me believe I was not loveable. This self-created belief kept me from believing the truth that God loved me.
I praise God for delivering me from my self-hatred and self-condemnation. I no longer sit around meditating on my faults, failures, shortcomings, and sins. I actively and consciously meditate on God’s greatness. Whenever my thoughts remind me of the past, I resist them and choose to think about what God says in His Word. God reveals to me in His Word that I am a new creature in Christ. He reveals to me that He has poured His love on me. He reveals to me that I have been adopted into His family and He loves me dearly. He reveals to me there is no condemnation for me because I have been set free from sin and condemnation. He reveals to me that because I have confessed my sins He forgives me. He tells me that my forgiven sins have been dropped into the sea of forgetfulness and He does not remember them. And whenever Satan or my own old thought habits try to tell me that I am no good and unlovable and not worthy of God’s love I choose to not believe them anymore. Instead I replace those old, defeating thoughts with life-giving thoughts from the Word and believe God’s truth about me.
I spent just about all my life thinking about my sins and everything I had done wrong. It was not uncommon for me in my early forties to think about things I got in trouble for when I was four or five years old! I sat around and nursed all the memories of my mistakes and sins and continued to condemn myself for all of them. As a result, I could not let God penetrate my heart or my mind with His love. I wanted Him to and I know God wanted to but I built all these strongholds based on lies in my mind that made me believe I was not loveable. This self-created belief kept me from believing the truth that God loved me.
I praise God for delivering me from my self-hatred and self-condemnation. I no longer sit around meditating on my faults, failures, shortcomings, and sins. I actively and consciously meditate on God’s greatness. Whenever my thoughts remind me of the past, I resist them and choose to think about what God says in His Word. God reveals to me in His Word that I am a new creature in Christ. He reveals to me that He has poured His love on me. He reveals to me that I have been adopted into His family and He loves me dearly. He reveals to me there is no condemnation for me because I have been set free from sin and condemnation. He reveals to me that because I have confessed my sins He forgives me. He tells me that my forgiven sins have been dropped into the sea of forgetfulness and He does not remember them. And whenever Satan or my own old thought habits try to tell me that I am no good and unlovable and not worthy of God’s love I choose to not believe them anymore. Instead I replace those old, defeating thoughts with life-giving thoughts from the Word and believe God’s truth about me.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Walk by Faith and Not by Sight
I’ve been in some emotional turmoil for a while experiencing doubt and fear despite trusting God and letting Him be the director of my life. I am obeying whatever He tells me to do, but I have been having a difficult time when looking to the future. To be honest, I am at a level of obedience for the first time in my life where every commitment and responsibility I have has been given to me by God. I am not executing any plan of my own and I am out of my comfort zone in every way. The only thing that seems constant in my life right now is feeding my fish every night!
God is running the show and I trust Him. But He isn’t sharing the entire plan with me. All I know is the activity of the moment. I do not know what all of my obedience will ultimately produce and, as a result, I have fallen into a questioning attitude.
Have you ever had a questioning attitude? A questioning attitude goes something like this:
Why am I doing this? I just don’t see what good it’s doing. What am I going do with this anyway? I just don’t see how I’m going to get through this. How will all this workout?
I got lost in this questioning attitude and began to experience discouragement and confusion. Whenever I experience these emotions, I know that I have to stop trying to figure things out and surrender it all back to God. As I laid it all at God’s feet this last weekend I realized that it’s okay that I do not see the plan. It is okay not to see because I choose to walk by faith not by sight. If I could see what was ahead…if I could see what this was going to do for me…if I could see how this will benefit me then I would not be walking by faith.
I felt God telling me that I could walk by faith or by the sight and the choice is all mine. Walking by sight would require me to put my plan in place and work with my limited ability and knowledge and understanding. Walking by faith requires me to obey the God Who knows everything and trust Him to know what is right for me even though I cannot see the end goal. The reason I can say “I don’t see…” is because I walk by faith and faith goes after something that cannot be seen.
When we walk by faith we cannot see what is ahead. More often than not, all we can see is the last thing God told us to do. As long as we are doing the last thing God told us to do we are being obedient and God always honors obedience. In God’s time, when He is ready and we are ready, He will reveal the next step of His plan for us. Until God reveals the next step, we must remember that we walk by faith and not by sight.
God is running the show and I trust Him. But He isn’t sharing the entire plan with me. All I know is the activity of the moment. I do not know what all of my obedience will ultimately produce and, as a result, I have fallen into a questioning attitude.
Have you ever had a questioning attitude? A questioning attitude goes something like this:
Why am I doing this? I just don’t see what good it’s doing. What am I going do with this anyway? I just don’t see how I’m going to get through this. How will all this workout?
I got lost in this questioning attitude and began to experience discouragement and confusion. Whenever I experience these emotions, I know that I have to stop trying to figure things out and surrender it all back to God. As I laid it all at God’s feet this last weekend I realized that it’s okay that I do not see the plan. It is okay not to see because I choose to walk by faith not by sight. If I could see what was ahead…if I could see what this was going to do for me…if I could see how this will benefit me then I would not be walking by faith.
I felt God telling me that I could walk by faith or by the sight and the choice is all mine. Walking by sight would require me to put my plan in place and work with my limited ability and knowledge and understanding. Walking by faith requires me to obey the God Who knows everything and trust Him to know what is right for me even though I cannot see the end goal. The reason I can say “I don’t see…” is because I walk by faith and faith goes after something that cannot be seen.
When we walk by faith we cannot see what is ahead. More often than not, all we can see is the last thing God told us to do. As long as we are doing the last thing God told us to do we are being obedient and God always honors obedience. In God’s time, when He is ready and we are ready, He will reveal the next step of His plan for us. Until God reveals the next step, we must remember that we walk by faith and not by sight.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
2009: The Year of Me!
I have been hesitant to create any new year's resolutions this year because I never follow through with them beyond February. Instead of defining and working on specific goals, I am looking to change attitudes and beliefs about myself this year. After listening to the testimonies of other people, I have finally come to believe that if I change attitudes and beliefs about myself then my behaviors will line up with my goals for my life. I know this may sound silly but I have decided that 2009 is the Year of Me!
I am going to do whatever it takes each day to continue to learn to love myself the way God loves me and to care for myself in a way that will be pleasing to Him. Each day I will do something for me regardless of how little, small, and insignificant it may seem. I truly believe that God wants me to be whole, healthy, and happy in spirit, soul, and body.
What will I do? I might read one page in a fun book (I bought a Smallville novel almost six months ago that is calling my name). I could spend five minutes working on a puzzle (I got 12 of them for Christmas). I can exercise (even if it is only 10 sit-ups and 10 push-ups). Oh, here’s a favorite, soaking in the hot tub. I could write in my journal, drink a cup of my favorite tea while faithdreaming, or eat one Oreo cookie. J Whatever it is, I will spend at least five minutes a day on myself.
We serve an awesome God who wants us to prosper and be in health even as our souls prosper. The interesting thing is that no one can take care of us except us. Let’s make the choice together to learn how to see ourselves the way God sees us, as His dearly loved children. Let’s learn together how to take care of ourselves in a way that increases our overall health…spirit, soul, and body. Let’s look forward to what God could accomplish in us as we learn to value ourselves the way He values us.
So what do you say? Could 2009 be the Year of You?
“I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
I am going to do whatever it takes each day to continue to learn to love myself the way God loves me and to care for myself in a way that will be pleasing to Him. Each day I will do something for me regardless of how little, small, and insignificant it may seem. I truly believe that God wants me to be whole, healthy, and happy in spirit, soul, and body.
What will I do? I might read one page in a fun book (I bought a Smallville novel almost six months ago that is calling my name). I could spend five minutes working on a puzzle (I got 12 of them for Christmas). I can exercise (even if it is only 10 sit-ups and 10 push-ups). Oh, here’s a favorite, soaking in the hot tub. I could write in my journal, drink a cup of my favorite tea while faithdreaming, or eat one Oreo cookie. J Whatever it is, I will spend at least five minutes a day on myself.
We serve an awesome God who wants us to prosper and be in health even as our souls prosper. The interesting thing is that no one can take care of us except us. Let’s make the choice together to learn how to see ourselves the way God sees us, as His dearly loved children. Let’s learn together how to take care of ourselves in a way that increases our overall health…spirit, soul, and body. Let’s look forward to what God could accomplish in us as we learn to value ourselves the way He values us.
So what do you say? Could 2009 be the Year of You?
“I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Friday, November 14, 2008
Emotions and The Will
We can let our emotions control us or we can take control over them by exercising our will.
Feeling hatred, bitterness, and anger? Choose forgiveness then act forgiving.
Feeling mean? Choose kindness then be kind.
Feel like giving up? Choose to stay committed and act devoted.
Feel discouraged? Choose to be happy then smile and enjoy life.
Our problem is that we have allowed our emotions to rule over us and dictate or heavily influence our behavior. Start exercising your power of choice by using your will. Take charge of your will and stop letting your emotions take charge of you.
Feeling hatred, bitterness, and anger? Choose forgiveness then act forgiving.
Feeling mean? Choose kindness then be kind.
Feel like giving up? Choose to stay committed and act devoted.
Feel discouraged? Choose to be happy then smile and enjoy life.
Our problem is that we have allowed our emotions to rule over us and dictate or heavily influence our behavior. Start exercising your power of choice by using your will. Take charge of your will and stop letting your emotions take charge of you.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Supernaturally Changed
I can remember the days when I begged God to change me. At times I cooperated with God to answer that prayer to change by doing what I believed I was supposed to do only to fall back into doing nothing except feeling miserable and crying out to God to change me. Every attempt at being different and trying to change failed. Even so, I kept trying and I kept doing and I kept praying for God to change me until the day came when the pain of not changing became too much to handle and I stopped. I stopped trying and settled for life the way it was and for me the way I was. Without realizing it, I tucked that pain away in a corner of my heart and for over a decade I never thought about it. Until two years ago.
Two years ago a situation forced me to resume my change efforts. I had something very important at stake in my life and I decided that I would do whatever it took to get through it. As a result, I pulled the pain out from the corner of my heart and added it to the pain I was experiencing and gave it all to God and told Him that even if I have to live with this pain for the rest of my life I was going to change. Looking back, I realize that for the first time in my life, I had the courage to make the effort to change instead of just wanting to be changed. I did what I was supposed to do and it was hard at first. So hard that sometimes I cried and asked God to find a different way. But there was no other way for me to change than to forgive those who had wronged me. There was no other way than begin to show love toward the one who had hurt me to so much. There was no other than to surrender my will to God's will and just do what He wanted me to do. There was no other way than to do it through Jesus' strength and not mine.
For two years I have been in the process of changing. I was willing to be changed my entire life but it was only when I worked the change process that something miraculous happened. For two years I have been so focused on being the woman God wants me to be that I was not aware of the change was taking place. It like fall colors. Some of are so focused on just living from day-to-day that we don’t notice the fall colors around us. Then one day, for whatever reason, we look up and see the beautiful fall colors and we realize it is fall. Fall colors that God has created and blessed us with. When this happens to me I am amazed about the fact that fall has been around me and I have not even noticed.
Today, I look at beautiful colors God has added to my life and I see that I have changed and I know the change is supernatural. It is supernatural because only God could change me like this. I'm still doing the same things I started doing two years ago. I forgive. I love. I am obedient. The supernatural change that has occurred is that I am now a forgiving, loving, and obedient person. I don't have to fight with my emotions anymore to be the person I want to be. I don't have to fight with my will anymore like I used to. I just do God’s will with faith and belief that He gives me the ability.
God changed me on the inside. And now changing and being changed is not something that I'm trying to do on the outside, it is a desire that comes from the inside. I work the change process and seek to change not because I am in pain and need to relieve my pain, although that is part of it. I work the change process and am obedient to change because I love my Heavenly Father and my Lord Jesus and I want more than anything to be like them.
Two years ago a situation forced me to resume my change efforts. I had something very important at stake in my life and I decided that I would do whatever it took to get through it. As a result, I pulled the pain out from the corner of my heart and added it to the pain I was experiencing and gave it all to God and told Him that even if I have to live with this pain for the rest of my life I was going to change. Looking back, I realize that for the first time in my life, I had the courage to make the effort to change instead of just wanting to be changed. I did what I was supposed to do and it was hard at first. So hard that sometimes I cried and asked God to find a different way. But there was no other way for me to change than to forgive those who had wronged me. There was no other way than begin to show love toward the one who had hurt me to so much. There was no other than to surrender my will to God's will and just do what He wanted me to do. There was no other way than to do it through Jesus' strength and not mine.
For two years I have been in the process of changing. I was willing to be changed my entire life but it was only when I worked the change process that something miraculous happened. For two years I have been so focused on being the woman God wants me to be that I was not aware of the change was taking place. It like fall colors. Some of are so focused on just living from day-to-day that we don’t notice the fall colors around us. Then one day, for whatever reason, we look up and see the beautiful fall colors and we realize it is fall. Fall colors that God has created and blessed us with. When this happens to me I am amazed about the fact that fall has been around me and I have not even noticed.
Today, I look at beautiful colors God has added to my life and I see that I have changed and I know the change is supernatural. It is supernatural because only God could change me like this. I'm still doing the same things I started doing two years ago. I forgive. I love. I am obedient. The supernatural change that has occurred is that I am now a forgiving, loving, and obedient person. I don't have to fight with my emotions anymore to be the person I want to be. I don't have to fight with my will anymore like I used to. I just do God’s will with faith and belief that He gives me the ability.
God changed me on the inside. And now changing and being changed is not something that I'm trying to do on the outside, it is a desire that comes from the inside. I work the change process and seek to change not because I am in pain and need to relieve my pain, although that is part of it. I work the change process and am obedient to change because I love my Heavenly Father and my Lord Jesus and I want more than anything to be like them.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)