Who Cares?

I have entered the world of online, social networking. I created a Facebook account.

I have spent time inviting people to be my friend and others have invited me to be their friend. I have perused my friend’s profiles and studied the various applications they have in their profiles that helps reveal who they are. I have read their posts that reveal their moods, what they are doing, about to do, or have done. For example, I have a friend who lives in Texas who wrote that he would be seeing the movie Get Smart later in the day. Another friend voiced her displeasure about her lack of willpower. One friend even wrote how she was living for 4:30 (meaning she couldn’t wait to get off from work). I have enjoyed sharing their day with them as they write about the status of their life at the moment.

I enjoyed seeing the various features of their profiles and decided I would put some in mine. I joined the Addicted to Smallville group and have a quote from the TV show Smallville in my profile. (B.J. was the only friend who had the Smallville application in his profile.) I added pieces of flair; buttons to put on a bulletin board that present quotes or artwork. My favorite piece of flair so far reads “automatic doors make me feel like a Jedi.” I even added the Moods application. This application, used by many of my friends, can announce your mood to all your friends. What you must know at this point in the story is that just about all (99.9%) of my friends are extroverts in personality while I am an introvert. So….

After installing the Moods app I browsed through my options for telling the Facebook world how I felt. I selected “worn out and tired.” This introverted personality got more brave and daring and even posted a status of “going to bed early.” Now any one of my friends who looked at my profile would see this information.

I woke up several times in the night thinking about the mood I was expressing in cyberspace and the other information I had revealed about myself. I admit I felt uncomfortable about it. I wasn’t feeling too good about “putting myself out there.” To be flat out honest, I thought, “Who cares?” Who cares if I’m going to bed early? Who cares if I’m using an emoticon image to reveal I’m worn out and tired?” (all you would have to do is look at me and you could figure that one out!). When I woke up the next day I was very disturbed by my Mood announcement and I logged into Facebook, removed the Mood application, and cleared my status. I erased evidence of my life.

That evening I had an appointment with my life coach (who happens to be one of my Facebook friends) and we discussed my courageous yet faltering steps: I put my emotions out there for all to see then erased them. My coach found my story very humorous and laughed the entire time I was telling it showing very little regard for the emotional angst I had experienced! Diana then explained the appeal of Facebook and people wanting to know things about other people. I concluded that Facebook can be a safe place for people to be connected and stay connected, share what they are doing and how they are feeling without stressing the friendship!! However, even as Diana and I talked I kept thinking “Who cares? Who really cares if I’m tired or going to bed early. Who cares if I’m going out for a long run?” It took until the next morning for me to have the answer to that question: My friends care. How do I know this? Because I care about what they write and reveal about themselves in their profiles. If people didn’t care, they wouldn’t have accepted my invitation to be a friend in Facebook.

In our conversation about Facebook, Diana said we are meant to be in relationship with other people. Facebook is just another avenue to express ourselves in relationships. I realize now that friendship in cyberspace is exactly like friendship experienced face-to-face; If I don’t express myself and share what’s going on in my life, I limit the friendship. People do not get the chance to know me and, as a result, the relationship stays shallow. As a result, I can have a shallow Facebook account just like I have the option to have a shallow face-to-face friendship.

This introverted personality is learning by experience how to share life with other people. And to experience authentic, value-added friendship, I realize I need to share my thoughts and feelings. Whether it’s over a cup of coffee at Starbucks, a piece of pie at Baker’s Square, a backyard bar-b-que, a brown-bag lunch at the park on our lunch hour, or the Mood application in Facebook, friends share life together.

Gotta go now. My friends care so it’s time to suck it up and re-install the Mood application. It’s time to share my life with my friends.

Stay the Course

I went for a long run yesterday. The longest distance I have ever attempted.

The first part of the course I had marked off for this eleven mile run took me two-and-a-half miles south of my house, a half mile east, then north for four miles before I needed to turn left to run west on the Lake Road, the part of the course that would take me into the longest run I have ever completed. A portion of this four-mile segment took me through the east side of the town where I live.

At about the five mile mark the anxiety I had all week anticipating this long run overtook me. I began to break down mentally and emotionally as doubts about whether or not I could do eleven miles seemed to overtake me. I found myself engaged in this self-talk:
- Eleven miles. I’ll never be able to do eleven miles. Am I crazy for doing this? What am I even doing this for? I don’t have anything to prove to anyone. This is a goal from my twenties. I’m not twenty anymore. The time it takes, the effort it takes. Why do I continue to put myself through this?
- I could turn left at the Shell station once I get into town and head home that way for what would end up being a 7.3 mile run.
- No, I can run seven miles easily. I’ve done that many times before. Keep going past the Shell station and turn at 3rd Street, run to Maple then head home. That would be eight miles.
- No…I can do eight miles. Eight miles isn’t going to move me forward in my training.
I shook myself out of this self-doubting revelry with this:
- You can do this. You need to keep going. The marathon is 26.2 miles and you won’t be able to finish it if you don’t keep to the training schedule.
- Remember, “a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” I’ve definitely taken more than one step since I started training. I remember when I couldn’t run one mile and now I’m on an eleven mile run.
- But it’s safe to run the eight mile course today…
- NO! Stay the course, Tina, and you can do eleven miles. Just stay the course and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

“Stay the course” captured my attention. I immediately realized that if I was going to run eleven miles I had to stay on the eleven mile circuit I had marked off. If I turned left at the Shell station I would not stay on the course. If I turned left at 3rd Street I would not stay on the course. If I was going to accomplish my goal I needed to stay on the eleven mile course and continue to put one foot in front of the other and turn left only when I got to the Lake Road.

What course are you on? Is it the course of a worthwhile goal like…
- Losing weight and lowering your cholesterol?
- Improving your relationship with a spouse, child, family member, or friend?
- Going back to school to finish that degree or earn one?
- Buying a house?
- Paying off your debt?
- Surviving a grief or recovery process?
- Overcoming addiction?

Are you at a mile marker where doubt, fatigue, or fear are beginning to overwhelm you and you want to turn left before you’re supposed to? If so, resist it! Whatever it is…resist it. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and stay the course.

I believe you can do it!

Cross-training

I wrote in my last entry that I am training for a marathon. I have been running diligently now for a year. I admit to taking four months off to recover from a car accident but other than this temporary hiatus from training, I have been running diligently since June of 2007. I have been a recreational runner for a long time so I have above average length strength. I knew that as I trained and ran more and more miles, my legs would get stronger and have greater endurance. What I didn’t know was that I need more than leg strength to run a marathon. I need upper body strength, too.

I discovered my need for increased upper body strength when various body parts starting hurting; my low back, hips, upper back, and neck. As I talked with a friend who is preparing to be a certified trainer, we discussed my need to strengthen my upper body. As I increased my mileage, my weak upper body could not hold itself up. As a result, I started leaning forward with my shoulders then I would lean forward at my hips. This breakdown in my running form created all the upper body aches and pains. The solution from my fitness trainer friend? Cross-training. I need to strengthen my upper body so I can run stronger and more efficiently.

I purchased a fitness program on DVD and have been doing the strengthening routines on my non-running days. Needless to say I am sore. I still have aches but they are of a different kind. These aches are the result of working muscle groups that haven’t been worked in a long time (if ever!). I don’t necessarily like this strengthening program (I much prefer to run) but I know that in order to finish a marathon, I need to train and strengthen my entire body, not just my legs.

I think our spiritual life is like training for a marathon. We can’t just do one thing and expect to be fully developed even for the task or activity we are doing all the time. We can’t just grow in one area and not others. For example, are you faithful and consistent to give your money and live by Biblical principles of giving but you do not give yourself and your time to others? Do you attend church every time the doors are open but do not volunteer in any area of service or ministry offering your gifts and talents to the church? Do you read your Bible regularly but pray only when things are difficult?

As a believer, I think it’s relatively easy to be strong and growing in one area while neglecting other areas of Christian living. The solution? Cross-train. If you have some aches and pains in certain areas of life, maybe you’re not as spiritually developed in those areas as you could be. Ask God to show you how to cross-train in these areas so that you can become a mature Christian possessing all the strength and endurance you need to run the race God has prepared for you.

A Rock in My Shoe

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.” I Corinthians 9:25

“…let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Hebrews 12:1
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I went running today. I am training for my first marathon and every workout is helping me move closer to be able accomplish this life-long dream. About a mile and a half into my run, I got a rock in my shoe. I felt it as it slid down into my shoe, worked its way under my instep and positioned itself in that spot where my big toe bends. I felt this rock every time my left foot struck the ground. This rock in my shoe and the resulting discomfort that was rapidly turning into pain reminded me of another rock in my shoe on a run years ago. I felt that rock, too, but kept running despite the pain it created for me. With every footfall I thought, “I should stop and get this rock out of my shoe.” But I didn’t. I was too busy running to stop and take care of this problem. Besides, I wanted to be tough and keep going. When I got home and took off my shoe I discovered blood on my sock. I knew the rock caused me pain but I didn’t realize that it had caused damage to my foot as well. The injury from that rock kept me from running for a week as my foot healed. As I remembered the rock in my shoe from years ago and the damage it caused, I decided that I would take the time to stop and remove the rock from my shoe. I did not want to create a problem that would interfere with my marathon training and keep me from running a race.

It was inconvenient taking that rock out of my shoe and I was very self-conscious. I was standing on the side of a country road with traffic going by in both directions. I was sweaty and breathing hard and having a hard time balancing on one foot as I tried to locate the rock in my shoe and remove it. It was a little thing. It took me several attempts to grab a hold of that very small rock (which happen to feel like a boulder) and remove it from my shoe. I remembered the rock from years ago being a small one, too. It’s amazing how something so small can cause such pain and discomfort.

I put my rock-free shoe back on, laced it up, and started running again. As I ran, I couldn’t help but think of spiritual rocks that I allowed in times past to lodge in various places in my soul. I was busy studying the Word and going to church, serving in children’s ministries, teaching adult Sunday School, and even preaching and doing women’s conferences here and there. I was doing everything I knew how to do to try and please God and serve Him and love Him. Yet, I did all those things with little rocks I had accumulated here and there because I was too busy with all these other seemingly spiritual activities. However, despite my good works, rocks of impatience and legalism, pride, frustration and anger, despair and discouragement began to cause me pain and hinder me in my relationship with God.

When God began to open my eyes to these rocks in my soul, I confessed my sins regarding these attitudes to the Lord and He graciously forgave me. As a result, I willingly submit to the refiner’s fire praying that God will cleanse me and purify me from all the spiritual rocks I have accumulated along the way. I also pray to keep from picking up more rocks along the way. I do not want anything that will keep me from effectively running the race God has for me.

What about you? Do you have a rock in your shoe? What about your soul? If so, take the time to stop and get it taken care of regardless of how inconvenient it might seem. Ask God to show you what you need to do remove the hindrance that keeps you from running the race He has prepared for you. It is true in a natural race that only one person receives the prize for finishing first. However, in our spiritual race , God has a prize waiting for each of us when we finish the race of faith. The Apostle Paul wrote about the crown of righteousness God has prepared for each person who has placed their faith and trust in Him. “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing” (I Timothy 4:7-8).

Father God, give me the courage to stop and deal with the rocks in my soul. Teach me how to throw off and remove everything that keeps me from effectively and obediently running the race You have for me. Help me to live with hope regarding the crown of righteousness You have waiting for me Amen.

Influencing Others

I read this quote today: "Just one person taking action can inspire others to do the same."

This quote reveals a principle I have seen in my own life recently. Since I have been running and training for a marathon, two other people I know have made the decision to run the Chicago Marathon. Several other people in my office have acquired an interest in running and all of us have participated in a 5K race (3.2 miles) and two of us a 5 mile race. I made the choice to run a marathon and took action. As a result, other people have chosen to take an interest in running and do the same thing. Another example is my blogsite. I started my blogsite in March and told a couple of people about it. One of my friends started her blogsite not too long after I started mine.

While this is fine, what I truly want is for people to see the actions I take because of my faith and be inspired to do the same. All I can do is live my life for God and let Him use my obedience to affect and influence others.

A negative example of influence is someone I know who left his family for another woman and her children. Several months after this man did what he did, his friend and business partner did the same thing; he left his wife and kids and moved in with the other woman while he is still married and the other woman is still married. One man took immoral action and another followed. As a result, four families have been broken apart as two married men and two married women decided they wanted spouses that didn’t belong to them. They wanted and they took action and went after something that didn’t belong to them. Their behavior has created a damage path a mile wide in the lives of seven children and the four spouses who have been left behind.

As I think about influencing others, I am reminded of many years ago when the Lord told me to be careful because I never know who I am influencing by my actions…influencing for the good or for the bad. I pray that I NEVER influence someone to sin by my behavior. I pray to always and only influence others in a positive way, whether it’s taking up running to improve physical fitness or inspiring someone to imitate some of my spiritual disciplines.

Prayer: Father God, keep me from willful sin and help me to NEVER NEVER NEVER set a sinful example for someone to follow. Give me the courage to trust and obey You in all things so that others will see the good deeds I do and praise You. Amen.