Who Cares?

I have entered the world of online, social networking. I created a Facebook account.

I have spent time inviting people to be my friend and others have invited me to be their friend. I have perused my friend’s profiles and studied the various applications they have in their profiles that helps reveal who they are. I have read their posts that reveal their moods, what they are doing, about to do, or have done. For example, I have a friend who lives in Texas who wrote that he would be seeing the movie Get Smart later in the day. Another friend voiced her displeasure about her lack of willpower. One friend even wrote how she was living for 4:30 (meaning she couldn’t wait to get off from work). I have enjoyed sharing their day with them as they write about the status of their life at the moment.

I enjoyed seeing the various features of their profiles and decided I would put some in mine. I joined the Addicted to Smallville group and have a quote from the TV show Smallville in my profile. (B.J. was the only friend who had the Smallville application in his profile.) I added pieces of flair; buttons to put on a bulletin board that present quotes or artwork. My favorite piece of flair so far reads “automatic doors make me feel like a Jedi.” I even added the Moods application. This application, used by many of my friends, can announce your mood to all your friends. What you must know at this point in the story is that just about all (99.9%) of my friends are extroverts in personality while I am an introvert. So….

After installing the Moods app I browsed through my options for telling the Facebook world how I felt. I selected “worn out and tired.” This introverted personality got more brave and daring and even posted a status of “going to bed early.” Now any one of my friends who looked at my profile would see this information.

I woke up several times in the night thinking about the mood I was expressing in cyberspace and the other information I had revealed about myself. I admit I felt uncomfortable about it. I wasn’t feeling too good about “putting myself out there.” To be flat out honest, I thought, “Who cares?” Who cares if I’m going to bed early? Who cares if I’m using an emoticon image to reveal I’m worn out and tired?” (all you would have to do is look at me and you could figure that one out!). When I woke up the next day I was very disturbed by my Mood announcement and I logged into Facebook, removed the Mood application, and cleared my status. I erased evidence of my life.

That evening I had an appointment with my life coach (who happens to be one of my Facebook friends) and we discussed my courageous yet faltering steps: I put my emotions out there for all to see then erased them. My coach found my story very humorous and laughed the entire time I was telling it showing very little regard for the emotional angst I had experienced! Diana then explained the appeal of Facebook and people wanting to know things about other people. I concluded that Facebook can be a safe place for people to be connected and stay connected, share what they are doing and how they are feeling without stressing the friendship!! However, even as Diana and I talked I kept thinking “Who cares? Who really cares if I’m tired or going to bed early. Who cares if I’m going out for a long run?” It took until the next morning for me to have the answer to that question: My friends care. How do I know this? Because I care about what they write and reveal about themselves in their profiles. If people didn’t care, they wouldn’t have accepted my invitation to be a friend in Facebook.

In our conversation about Facebook, Diana said we are meant to be in relationship with other people. Facebook is just another avenue to express ourselves in relationships. I realize now that friendship in cyberspace is exactly like friendship experienced face-to-face; If I don’t express myself and share what’s going on in my life, I limit the friendship. People do not get the chance to know me and, as a result, the relationship stays shallow. As a result, I can have a shallow Facebook account just like I have the option to have a shallow face-to-face friendship.

This introverted personality is learning by experience how to share life with other people. And to experience authentic, value-added friendship, I realize I need to share my thoughts and feelings. Whether it’s over a cup of coffee at Starbucks, a piece of pie at Baker’s Square, a backyard bar-b-que, a brown-bag lunch at the park on our lunch hour, or the Mood application in Facebook, friends share life together.

Gotta go now. My friends care so it’s time to suck it up and re-install the Mood application. It’s time to share my life with my friends.