Today Is My Birthday

Today is my birthday. This time last year it was my birthday, too! :-) In my birthday post last year I wrote how for the first time in my life I was experiencing God’s pleasure with me. I am certainly not perfect, nor will I ever be perfect, but that does not matter because I discovered God has never asked me to be perfect. And being perfect has nothing to do with God loving me and being pleased with me.

This year I believe God asked me how I felt about my birthday. Interestingly enough, the first thought I had was about the story of Job found in the Bible. Job cursed the day he was born. He was going through some significant pain, physically, mentally, and emotionally and, in his pain, he cursed the day he was born. He had some extremely violent feelings about how he wished that day had never existed (see Job Chapter 3 in the Old Testament). On the heels of remembering Job’s feelings about the day he was born, I told the Lord that I am grateful for the day I was born. To be able to say this is an honest-to-goodness miracle. For years that turned into decades of my life, I wished I had never been born. I experienced significant pain that I could not let go of. That pain made me miserable every day of my life. While I never cursed the day of my birth like Job did, I lived daily with the feeling of hating that day. But God feels much differently about the days that each of us were born.

The Psalmist tells us a truth about himself that is true for all humans: God is our creator and we are fearfully and wonderfully made. God’s works are wonderful and the implication is that we are wonderful (Psalm 139:14). God told Jeremiah the prophet that God knew him even before Jeremiah had been concieved (Jeremiah 1:5).

God knows me and He knows you. He knew us even before we were conceived, even before our parents met and knew each other. God has known from the beginning that He would create us and we are no accidents. Regardless of the circumstances of your conception, God created you. He planned for and waited for your birth day. And God rejoices in the day you were born. He does not regret it.

I am grateful that God has healed me and set me free from the pain that consumed me for far too long. I no longer hate the day I was born and I no longer want to end my life. God, in His infinite love and mercy and grace, continues to teach me how to see myself the way He sees me. And I am learning to reject thoughts about myself that do not agree with God's thoughts about me. I praise God that He is much more merciful than I am.

Today is my birthday. And I praise God for the life He has given me.