Hurting and Lonely

I am hurting and lonely tonight. The silence in my house seems to echo off the walls. This silence enhances my sense of pain and loneliness.

I called a friend to talk about something that pertains to tomorrow and she sensed something was wrong. This friendship is only a few months old, but it is a God-created friendship and it feels as if we have been good friends for a very long time. Our friendship is mature enough that even after a few short months she sensed something in my voice and asked if I wanted to talk. I replied that there really wasn’t much to talk about. She knows my story and I would not be telling her anything new. I was tempted to resort to old habits and say “I am fine” and not talk about what is going on inside me. Instead of staying isolated, I chose to be honest and said, “I just hurt and I feel lonely.”

My friend offered words of encouragement and reminded me that I am doing the right things and “it won’t always be like this.” She said that what I am experiencing “is only for a season” and that I will not always be hurting or feeling lonely. I knew the words she spoke were true even though the truth feels like such a far away thing. As she spoke her words of encouragement, I remembered something she said in a conversation last week: “God’s timing is perfect.”

I do not know how long I will continue to hurt and feel lonely. Sometimes my emotional state seems like winter, it lasts longer than I want it to. Despite the fact that I do not know how long I will continue hurting, I truly know that God is at work in me healing my broken heart. I know that even when I feel incredibly lonely like I do tonight, I am not alone. God is with me. And even in the midst of the hurt and loneliness, I can sense God’s presence. I can sense His pleasure with me because of the choices I am making in my pain and loneliness to walk the road ahead that He has prepared for me. This road is not one that is filled with selfishness and pain-numbing activities (although I could take that road if I wanted to). God’s road for me is a road that is full of life and hope and integrity. It is a road full of peace and comfort. It is a road full of traveling companions like the one I talked to tonight. It is a road filled with good things that can come from God and God alone. It is a road that is reflective of God's speed limit for my healing. It is the only road I want to travel.

Scriptures for Comfort
Isaiah 43:1-3: “But now, this is what the Lord says—he who created you…he who formed you… “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God…””

Jeremiah 31:13: “…I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.”

Psalm 23:1-3: “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside the still waters, he restores my soul, He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.”

Psalm 28:6-7: “Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.”

Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Matthew 5:4: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”