It's Okay to Cry

I think I have finally learned how to cry. You might be thinking “What is there to learn about how to cry? You shed tears and you cry.” For me, crying wasn’t that simple.

The majority of my life has been spent with my emotions locked away. A variety of circumstances taught me how to turn off my emotions when I was a child and, as a result, I cried very little as a child, teenager, or adult. I have not been cold-hearted and emotionless. I have just not allowed myself to experience emotions in a normal, healthy manner.

Sixteen months ago my life was turned upside down and the end result was losing something I valued very much. I was placed in a situation that I had no control over and was betrayed with lies and broken promises. The extreme pain I felt as a result of this situation forced on the emotional switch I kept turned off for many, many years. As a result, many years of hurt and anger were released too quickly and I was unable to deal with my emotions appropriately. Through my circumstance, I learned how to experience emotions and identify them. I also learned how to let emotions express themselves and I have been on a journey to learn how to manage my emotions. I can honestly say with the testimony of my friends and those who know me that I am more mature now after my life was torn apart than what I was before. I believe that learning how to cry has contributed to my growth.

Prior to my life-changing event, I would cry on occasion. However, outside of crying in church I would cry only when stress forced the tears to fall. The tears were nothing but a stress release I could not control. I did not want to cry because I believed crying was useless. I did not cry willingly and hated it when I cried. I did not talk to anyone about the pain I carried inside me for the same reason I did not cry. I kept my pain inside and chose not to talk to people because I believed that talking was useless. Talking would not change the situation or the circumstances. As a result of this belief system, I kept everything inside, all my hurt and all my tears. I realize now my philosophy on crying and talking to others was faulty and did me nothing but harm.

I have learned this past sixteen months that crying can be therapeutic and healing . I found it is true that crying and talking about my pain does not change my situation or the circumstances. But that’s okay because I have learned that crying and talking about my pain changes me. When I cry these days, I cry in the direction of my Heavenly Father believing and experiencing that He comforts those who mourn and hurt. I have learned as I cry in the direction of my Heavenly Father that it is possible to cry as a result of deep pain yet have hope and peace at the same time.

My philosophy about crying these days is this: It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to express pain and hurt through tears. It’s okay to talk and let someone else in on your pain. And even though the circumstances may not change, you can change and rise above the circumstances that caused your pain.

Go ahead. Grab a box of Kleenex or a hankie and cry in God’s direction. Take time to mourn and weep and pour out your heart to Him. Ask God to teach you how to cry if you need to. Ask Him to comfort you while you express your hurt with tears. Ask Him to sit next to you while you cry. Trust your hurts and tears to a Heavenly Father Who loves you and will speak peace and comfort and healing to your wounded soul.

Bible References
Psalm 77:1: “I cry out to God without holding back…” (New Living Translation)

Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:…a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance…”
Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Matthew 5:4: “Blesssed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.”