A few months ago friend of mine gave me a quote she has posted in front of her computer at work. The phrase is “Progress…not perfection.”
My friend knows me well and with this one phrase she was trying to tell me that God does not expect me to be perfect…He doesn’t even expect me to be close to perfect. However, He expects me to grow.
God knows we are not perfect. God knows we are human. After all, He created us to be human and He is well aware of our frailties, our weaknesses, and our bent toward selfishness. These things come as no surprise to God.
We must accept the fact that we are human and give ourselves permission to be human. We will never achieve perfection this side of Heaven so it would be beneficial to our spiritual, mental, and emotional well-being to accept the fact that we are not perfect. In accepting the fact that we are not perfect, we take the pressure off ourselves to be something we cannot be. As a result, we can stop pretending to be someone we are not and we can be real with ourselves and with each other.
For a perfectionistic person like myself, this phrase “Progress…not perfection” provided a brief moment of fresh air. After that brief moment, my perfectionistic mindset automatically kicked in and I started focusing on my progress. Is my progress what it’s supposed to be? Am I behind where God wants me to be? I know I’m not where I want to be but I don’t know how to get there…how do I get there? As I resisted these thoughts and considered my personal growth, I realized that God is the One Who makes me grow. I cannot change me. Only God can change me and lead me down the path of progress. There is an effort of my self-will that I could apply that might change me to a certain degree, but God is the only One Who can truly change me and cause me to grow the way He wants me to grow and to become the woman He wants me to be.
How does this happen? How do we grow? We grow and make progress when we trust and obey. We trust God and believe what He has revealed about Himself and about human life in the Bible. We obey God when we read about something in the Bible that we are to do and then we do it. As we trust and obey we grow. As we grow we make progress. I have heard someone say “I’m not where I want to be but I not where I used to be, either.” I’m learning that life is all about progress…not perfection.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
Thirteen Mistakes I Have Made...and Still Make Sometimes
1. Being complacent when I should have been proactive.
2. Letting someone else's lifestyle choice affect my choices.
3. Taking for granted that a promise made will be a promise kept.
4. Not getting professional help for issues I needed help with sooner than what I did.
5. Believing that I can change other people’s behaviors and attitudes.
6. Isolating myself from other people when I hurt.
7. When asked, “What’s wrong?” I say “Nothing.”
8. Being unaware of the emotional needs of other people.
9. Ignoring my emotional needs.
10. Treating people the way I want to be treated based on my personality instead of treating people based on the needs of their personality.
11. Believing that I could not lose weight.
12. Believing that failure is a person, not an event.
13. Believing that I am not worth loving.
2. Letting someone else's lifestyle choice affect my choices.
3. Taking for granted that a promise made will be a promise kept.
4. Not getting professional help for issues I needed help with sooner than what I did.
5. Believing that I can change other people’s behaviors and attitudes.
6. Isolating myself from other people when I hurt.
7. When asked, “What’s wrong?” I say “Nothing.”
8. Being unaware of the emotional needs of other people.
9. Ignoring my emotional needs.
10. Treating people the way I want to be treated based on my personality instead of treating people based on the needs of their personality.
11. Believing that I could not lose weight.
12. Believing that failure is a person, not an event.
13. Believing that I am not worth loving.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
You Can't Live Life in Bed!
I am a thinker personality type and it is not uncommon for me to wake up in the morning and lay in bed thinking about the day, even the week ahead of me. I imagine the things that need to happen and what might go wrong if I try to accomplish this or that. I naturally slip into thinking about the consequences and next steps after completing the things I have thought about. And what if I fail or can’t do it? I then think about backup plans A, B, C, and all the way through ZZ should my original plan not produce the desired results!! On a recent morning while still in bed I was in this thinking mode and I felt the Lord tell me that I “can’t live life in bed.” It was time to get up and get to it.
Do you live your life in bed? Maybe you live your life in a chair or on the couch. You get up, go to work, come home, and sit in the chair and watch TV until it’s time to go to bed and then you do it all over again the next day. While you are laying in bed, sitting in the chair or on the couch, do you think about the life you want? Do you think about having a more consistent relationship with God? A more satisfying marriage? A better relationship with your children? A more satisfying job? A physically fit body? A general attitude of being able to enjoy life? All of these desires are good ones but to have what you are thinking about you have to get out of bed, out of that chair, or off that couch and you have to do something about it. Wanting it will not be enough. You have to get up and get to it.
If you do not get up and actually live life, you place yourself in a vulnerable position of distraction. Thoughts simmer about what you want but an interesting dynamic happens when you do not actively pursue positive things…you tend to think about what is wrong with the things in your life that you would like to change. As you continue to brood on what is wrong, you can fall prey to all kinds of deception from Satan.
What kinds of deception can we fall prey to when we are not applying effort towards desires that are God approved? Subtle traps like the mindset that nothing will change, addiction to mindless TV, busyness, or shopping . Horrible traps such as an adulterous affair, the use of or addiction to alcohol, drugs, or pornography. Whether subtle or blatantly horrible, private or public, the traps are designed to keep us from fulfilling God’s plan for our lives. When we do not live life the way God has designed we open ourselves to all manner of evil regardless of how subtle or horrible.
Do not live life from an inactive state and run the risk of falling prey to those things that can make your life ineffective. Do not allow Satan to distract and blind you from what God wants to do through someone who is willing to live life by His design. Get up and live life with the purpose for which you have been created, to love God and keep His commands. Then let Him lead you and guide you in what you must do to experience a deeper relationship with God and experience joy and peace and whatever you work towards. Nothing will happen if you lay around or sit around. If you do nothing, you have nothing, and you get nothing.
Don’t live life from bed. Get up and get to it!
Scriptures
Ecclesiastes 12:13: “Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commands, for this is the whole duty of man.”
John 10:10: “I [Jesus] have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”
Do you live your life in bed? Maybe you live your life in a chair or on the couch. You get up, go to work, come home, and sit in the chair and watch TV until it’s time to go to bed and then you do it all over again the next day. While you are laying in bed, sitting in the chair or on the couch, do you think about the life you want? Do you think about having a more consistent relationship with God? A more satisfying marriage? A better relationship with your children? A more satisfying job? A physically fit body? A general attitude of being able to enjoy life? All of these desires are good ones but to have what you are thinking about you have to get out of bed, out of that chair, or off that couch and you have to do something about it. Wanting it will not be enough. You have to get up and get to it.
If you do not get up and actually live life, you place yourself in a vulnerable position of distraction. Thoughts simmer about what you want but an interesting dynamic happens when you do not actively pursue positive things…you tend to think about what is wrong with the things in your life that you would like to change. As you continue to brood on what is wrong, you can fall prey to all kinds of deception from Satan.
What kinds of deception can we fall prey to when we are not applying effort towards desires that are God approved? Subtle traps like the mindset that nothing will change, addiction to mindless TV, busyness, or shopping . Horrible traps such as an adulterous affair, the use of or addiction to alcohol, drugs, or pornography. Whether subtle or blatantly horrible, private or public, the traps are designed to keep us from fulfilling God’s plan for our lives. When we do not live life the way God has designed we open ourselves to all manner of evil regardless of how subtle or horrible.
Do not live life from an inactive state and run the risk of falling prey to those things that can make your life ineffective. Do not allow Satan to distract and blind you from what God wants to do through someone who is willing to live life by His design. Get up and live life with the purpose for which you have been created, to love God and keep His commands. Then let Him lead you and guide you in what you must do to experience a deeper relationship with God and experience joy and peace and whatever you work towards. Nothing will happen if you lay around or sit around. If you do nothing, you have nothing, and you get nothing.
Don’t live life from bed. Get up and get to it!
Scriptures
Ecclesiastes 12:13: “Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commands, for this is the whole duty of man.”
John 10:10: “I [Jesus] have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”
Sunday, May 4, 2008
God, You Can Heal Me Just Like That!
A month or so ago I was sharing my hurt with the Lord. I am still in a healing and recovery mode after losing something very dear to me and it was just time to cry again and express my hurt and pain and loneliness with tears.
As I prayed to the Lord while crying in His direction, I said, “Lord, You can heal me just like that!” and I snapped my fingers. I went on to the tell the Lord how I believe with all my heart that all He has to do is just make the decision to heal me and all my hurt and pain and loneliness and bitterness would be gone and I could put certain circumstances behind me once and for all and not be bothered by them anymore.
I firmly believe I was right. God could very easily heal me and take away all the pain in an instant. But what would also be taken away is an opportunity to continue to grow and learn how to become the woman God wants me to be. As much as I wish there was a better way to grow, I have come to believe that the greatest growth a person can experience comes in the difficult times in life.
The Bible offers many promises and words of comfort to those who are suffering. The Bible also tells us that good things can happen through our suffering. I have read words of promises and encouragement in the Bible many times in the years in which I have been a Christian but I did not receive them or apply them to me because I was too busy begging God to deliver me from the suffering. I thought that suffering was a bad thing and should be avoided and should not have a place in the Christian’s life. I see things differently now.
It is part of human life to experience pain and suffering. Sometimes the pain and suffering is the consequences of our own choices and behaviors. Sometimes it is the consequence of the choices and behaviors of others. Either way, we can take our pain, suffering, and ourselves to God and ask Him to lead us and guide us through the healing process. As we let God lead us and guide us, we can learn so much about how to trust Him.
I continue to pray for God to lead me and guide me through the healing and forgiveness process. I no longer ask Him why He won’t heal me instantly. I just pray that I have my heart open to be patient with Him as I wait on Him to heal me in His time and in His way.
As I prayed to the Lord while crying in His direction, I said, “Lord, You can heal me just like that!” and I snapped my fingers. I went on to the tell the Lord how I believe with all my heart that all He has to do is just make the decision to heal me and all my hurt and pain and loneliness and bitterness would be gone and I could put certain circumstances behind me once and for all and not be bothered by them anymore.
I firmly believe I was right. God could very easily heal me and take away all the pain in an instant. But what would also be taken away is an opportunity to continue to grow and learn how to become the woman God wants me to be. As much as I wish there was a better way to grow, I have come to believe that the greatest growth a person can experience comes in the difficult times in life.
The Bible offers many promises and words of comfort to those who are suffering. The Bible also tells us that good things can happen through our suffering. I have read words of promises and encouragement in the Bible many times in the years in which I have been a Christian but I did not receive them or apply them to me because I was too busy begging God to deliver me from the suffering. I thought that suffering was a bad thing and should be avoided and should not have a place in the Christian’s life. I see things differently now.
It is part of human life to experience pain and suffering. Sometimes the pain and suffering is the consequences of our own choices and behaviors. Sometimes it is the consequence of the choices and behaviors of others. Either way, we can take our pain, suffering, and ourselves to God and ask Him to lead us and guide us through the healing process. As we let God lead us and guide us, we can learn so much about how to trust Him.
I continue to pray for God to lead me and guide me through the healing and forgiveness process. I no longer ask Him why He won’t heal me instantly. I just pray that I have my heart open to be patient with Him as I wait on Him to heal me in His time and in His way.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
The Prodigal Child Part II
A previous post titled The Prodigal Child describes the prodigal path as a path of selfishness that leads you away from God. The problem with the prodigal path is it ruins your relationship with God, with others, and with yourself.
The prodigal path is fun and exciting when you first start to walk on it. You embark on a journey that seems to fix any number of problems you might have in your life.
Maybe your marriage is not what you want it to be so you are drawn to someone else, regardless of whether or not they are married, too. You feel the excitement of something new and forbidden. You walk towards that other person in your mind and heart and then in word and deed. You become blinded by sin and are walking the path of adultery and divorce leaving damaged and broken lives behind you. It doesn’t matter that God tells you in the Bible that He hates divorce.
Maybe your prodigal path is one of total withdrawal. You have retreated from life and refuse to be a participant. You do not trust anyone nor do you seek to share your hurts with anyone. You hold on to bitterness and anger nursing it as a reminder of the injuries you have experienced in life. A friend's betrayal, a spouse's lies and adultery, a rape, child abuse, a medical diagnosis, a loved one's death, or your own sin has made you retreat to a life of solitude powered by hurt, loneliness, anger, bitterness, pain, or shame. It doesn’t matter that God has promised to forgive you, restore you to a relationship with Him, and be with you always and to never leave you.
Maybe you are bored or disenchanted with life and one night while surfing the internet you come across a provocative website. The excitement of pornography grabs your attention. Before you know it, you are registered on multiple websites catering to a sexual addiction that steals you of your time and money. It doesn’t matter that God tells you in the Bible that you are to be pure in our thoughts and actions.
Maybe you have pain and torment that you have no idea what to do with. God hasn't answered your prayers for deliverance and you become tired of waiting for Him to deliver you. So you seek to relieve your pain in any one of the following diversions; alcohol, drugs, fantasy, shopping, or gossiping. You find that diversions like these numb your mind or body and make you forget your pain. These things will lead you to walk down the prodigal path of addiction. It doesn’t matter that God tells you in the Bible that He will comfort you and heal you.
It does not matter what your prodigal path looks like or what activities you participate in along the way. The departure point and the destination point are all the same. The departure point is rejecting God and His plan for your life. The destination point is ruin, destruction, and death to you and those affected by your choices.
There is an alternative route to the prodigal path. It is called the path of righteousness, or right living with God. The path of righteousness is a safe path, a healthy path, a life-giving path. The traveling companions on the path of righteousness are God the Father, the Lord Jesus, and the Holy Spirit Who will be your teacher, guide and comforter. You also have angels watching over you as you travel the path of righteousness.
There is a famous poem titled The Road Not Taken (also known as The Road Less Traveled) by Robert Frost. In this poem, the traveler states:
The prodigal path is fun and exciting when you first start to walk on it. You embark on a journey that seems to fix any number of problems you might have in your life.
Maybe your marriage is not what you want it to be so you are drawn to someone else, regardless of whether or not they are married, too. You feel the excitement of something new and forbidden. You walk towards that other person in your mind and heart and then in word and deed. You become blinded by sin and are walking the path of adultery and divorce leaving damaged and broken lives behind you. It doesn’t matter that God tells you in the Bible that He hates divorce.
Maybe your prodigal path is one of total withdrawal. You have retreated from life and refuse to be a participant. You do not trust anyone nor do you seek to share your hurts with anyone. You hold on to bitterness and anger nursing it as a reminder of the injuries you have experienced in life. A friend's betrayal, a spouse's lies and adultery, a rape, child abuse, a medical diagnosis, a loved one's death, or your own sin has made you retreat to a life of solitude powered by hurt, loneliness, anger, bitterness, pain, or shame. It doesn’t matter that God has promised to forgive you, restore you to a relationship with Him, and be with you always and to never leave you.
Maybe you are bored or disenchanted with life and one night while surfing the internet you come across a provocative website. The excitement of pornography grabs your attention. Before you know it, you are registered on multiple websites catering to a sexual addiction that steals you of your time and money. It doesn’t matter that God tells you in the Bible that you are to be pure in our thoughts and actions.
Maybe you have pain and torment that you have no idea what to do with. God hasn't answered your prayers for deliverance and you become tired of waiting for Him to deliver you. So you seek to relieve your pain in any one of the following diversions; alcohol, drugs, fantasy, shopping, or gossiping. You find that diversions like these numb your mind or body and make you forget your pain. These things will lead you to walk down the prodigal path of addiction. It doesn’t matter that God tells you in the Bible that He will comfort you and heal you.
It does not matter what your prodigal path looks like or what activities you participate in along the way. The departure point and the destination point are all the same. The departure point is rejecting God and His plan for your life. The destination point is ruin, destruction, and death to you and those affected by your choices.
There is an alternative route to the prodigal path. It is called the path of righteousness, or right living with God. The path of righteousness is a safe path, a healthy path, a life-giving path. The traveling companions on the path of righteousness are God the Father, the Lord Jesus, and the Holy Spirit Who will be your teacher, guide and comforter. You also have angels watching over you as you travel the path of righteousness.
There is a famous poem titled The Road Not Taken (also known as The Road Less Traveled) by Robert Frost. In this poem, the traveler states:
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
There are two roads in life to choose from: the path of the prodigal which leads to ruin, decay, and destruction or the path of righteousness which leads to life, peace, and joy. In our American culture, it appears as if the road less traveled is the path of righteousness. I have no doubt that if you travel the path of righteousness it will make all the difference in your life. Choose God’s path of right living and as you make the journey, let God minister peace and healing to your soul and to your life.
Scripture and References
Malachi 2:14-16: “…the Lord is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. … So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. ‘I hate divorce,’ says the Lord God…”
Deuteronomy 31:6: “…the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
James 5:16: “Confess your sins [faults] to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”
Psalm 101:2-3: “I will be careful to lead a blameless life…I will walk in my house with a blameless heart. I will set before my eyes no vile thing.”
I Timothy 5:22: “…do not share in the sins of others. Keep yourself pure.”
Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Matthew 5:4: “Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.”
Galatians 6:8-9: “Do not be deceived and deluded and misled; God will not allow Himself to be sneered at…[He inevitably deludes himself who attempts to delude God.] For whatever a man sows, that and that only is what he will reap. For he who sows to his own flesh (lower nature, sensuality) will from the flesh reap decay and ruin and destruction, but he who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.” (Amplified Version)
The Road Not Taken can be found at http://quotations.about.com/cs/poemlyrics/a/Road_Not_Taken.htm
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
There are two roads in life to choose from: the path of the prodigal which leads to ruin, decay, and destruction or the path of righteousness which leads to life, peace, and joy. In our American culture, it appears as if the road less traveled is the path of righteousness. I have no doubt that if you travel the path of righteousness it will make all the difference in your life. Choose God’s path of right living and as you make the journey, let God minister peace and healing to your soul and to your life.
Scripture and References
Malachi 2:14-16: “…the Lord is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. … So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. ‘I hate divorce,’ says the Lord God…”
Deuteronomy 31:6: “…the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
James 5:16: “Confess your sins [faults] to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”
Psalm 101:2-3: “I will be careful to lead a blameless life…I will walk in my house with a blameless heart. I will set before my eyes no vile thing.”
I Timothy 5:22: “…do not share in the sins of others. Keep yourself pure.”
Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Matthew 5:4: “Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.”
Galatians 6:8-9: “Do not be deceived and deluded and misled; God will not allow Himself to be sneered at…[He inevitably deludes himself who attempts to delude God.] For whatever a man sows, that and that only is what he will reap. For he who sows to his own flesh (lower nature, sensuality) will from the flesh reap decay and ruin and destruction, but he who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.” (Amplified Version)
The Road Not Taken can be found at http://quotations.about.com/cs/poemlyrics/a/Road_Not_Taken.htm
Monday, April 14, 2008
The Prodigal Child: A Wayward Son is Accepted and Restored
The prodigal son was a son. He wasn't an outsider. He was a member of the family, yet he left all that was his and lived a rebellious life.
The prodigal son did things his father would never approve of. Yet, his father never tried to stop him from the lifestyle he had chosen for himself. Instead, the father waited. And waited. And waited. The father waited for the son to see the error of his choices. The father waited for the son to come home.
As believers, we can become prodigal children. Before we began a relationship with Jesus, we were called sinners and we were not a part of the family of God. But God saved us when we confessed our sins and chose to live in a way that pleases Him. If we turn our backs on God after becoming a believer we are a prodigal child. God our Father stills loves us, yet He will not force us to stay with Him. We can leave and do whatever we want. We can do all kinds of things that He would not approve of and He will not stop us. What does God do while we walk the path of prodigal selfishness instead the path of righteousness? He waits. And waits. And waits. God our Father waits for us to return to Him.
The wayward son came to his senses after suffering the consequences of his actions. He made the choice to leave the pig pen he was in and return to his father's house. When he got home, he wasn't even up to the house yet when his dad came running out to meet him. His dad rushed to make him part of the family again. It didn't even take the time for the son to walk the length of the driveway before he experienced the love and forgiveness of his father. He was restored and reconciled before he had a chance to say anything.
It does not matter how far we have moved away from God, our Heavenly Father, all we have to do is turn around and face Him, apologize to Him, and confess our prodigal sins. In that moment, we find out how fast God our Father will restore our relationship with Him. We will discover how fast God our Father will pour out His love on us. Love that He has been waiting to give to us. We will experience how quickly we can be accepted again.
Are you a prodigal child right now? Are you on the prodigal path that leads you farther and farther away from your Father God? Or are you in the prodigal pig pen? Maybe you have walked the prodigal path and are living in the prodigal pig pen reaping the consequences of your choices and actions. Have you reached the end of yourself, your abilities, and your resources to live the prodigal life? Has the pain of being a runaway child of God become too much? If so, don't despair. Just turn around and face the direction that leads you back to a relationship with your Heavenly Father. He has been watching and waiting every moment of every day for your return home. Turn your back on the selfishness that started you down the prodigal path. Turn your back on unbelief, addictions, self-indulgent living, adulterous relationships, apathy, laziness, and anything that has led you away from your relationship with God.
Turn your back on prodigal living and find out how fast God's love, forgiveness, grace, and mercy will meet you and hug you.
Scripture
The Lost Son (Luke 15:11-24)
Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.
"Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
It's Okay to Cry
I think I have finally learned how to cry. You might be thinking “What is there to learn about how to cry? You shed tears and you cry.” For me, crying wasn’t that simple.
The majority of my life has been spent with my emotions locked away. A variety of circumstances taught me how to turn off my emotions when I was a child and, as a result, I cried very little as a child, teenager, or adult. I have not been cold-hearted and emotionless. I have just not allowed myself to experience emotions in a normal, healthy manner.
Sixteen months ago my life was turned upside down and the end result was losing something I valued very much. I was placed in a situation that I had no control over and was betrayed with lies and broken promises. The extreme pain I felt as a result of this situation forced on the emotional switch I kept turned off for many, many years. As a result, many years of hurt and anger were released too quickly and I was unable to deal with my emotions appropriately. Through my circumstance, I learned how to experience emotions and identify them. I also learned how to let emotions express themselves and I have been on a journey to learn how to manage my emotions. I can honestly say with the testimony of my friends and those who know me that I am more mature now after my life was torn apart than what I was before. I believe that learning how to cry has contributed to my growth.
Prior to my life-changing event, I would cry on occasion. However, outside of crying in church I would cry only when stress forced the tears to fall. The tears were nothing but a stress release I could not control. I did not want to cry because I believed crying was useless. I did not cry willingly and hated it when I cried. I did not talk to anyone about the pain I carried inside me for the same reason I did not cry. I kept my pain inside and chose not to talk to people because I believed that talking was useless. Talking would not change the situation or the circumstances. As a result of this belief system, I kept everything inside, all my hurt and all my tears. I realize now my philosophy on crying and talking to others was faulty and did me nothing but harm.
I have learned this past sixteen months that crying can be therapeutic and healing . I found it is true that crying and talking about my pain does not change my situation or the circumstances. But that’s okay because I have learned that crying and talking about my pain changes me. When I cry these days, I cry in the direction of my Heavenly Father believing and experiencing that He comforts those who mourn and hurt. I have learned as I cry in the direction of my Heavenly Father that it is possible to cry as a result of deep pain yet have hope and peace at the same time.
My philosophy about crying these days is this: It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to express pain and hurt through tears. It’s okay to talk and let someone else in on your pain. And even though the circumstances may not change, you can change and rise above the circumstances that caused your pain.
Go ahead. Grab a box of Kleenex or a hankie and cry in God’s direction. Take time to mourn and weep and pour out your heart to Him. Ask God to teach you how to cry if you need to. Ask Him to comfort you while you express your hurt with tears. Ask Him to sit next to you while you cry. Trust your hurts and tears to a Heavenly Father Who loves you and will speak peace and comfort and healing to your wounded soul.
Bible References
Psalm 77:1: “I cry out to God without holding back…” (New Living Translation)
Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:…a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance…”
Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Matthew 5:4: “Blesssed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.”
The majority of my life has been spent with my emotions locked away. A variety of circumstances taught me how to turn off my emotions when I was a child and, as a result, I cried very little as a child, teenager, or adult. I have not been cold-hearted and emotionless. I have just not allowed myself to experience emotions in a normal, healthy manner.
Sixteen months ago my life was turned upside down and the end result was losing something I valued very much. I was placed in a situation that I had no control over and was betrayed with lies and broken promises. The extreme pain I felt as a result of this situation forced on the emotional switch I kept turned off for many, many years. As a result, many years of hurt and anger were released too quickly and I was unable to deal with my emotions appropriately. Through my circumstance, I learned how to experience emotions and identify them. I also learned how to let emotions express themselves and I have been on a journey to learn how to manage my emotions. I can honestly say with the testimony of my friends and those who know me that I am more mature now after my life was torn apart than what I was before. I believe that learning how to cry has contributed to my growth.
Prior to my life-changing event, I would cry on occasion. However, outside of crying in church I would cry only when stress forced the tears to fall. The tears were nothing but a stress release I could not control. I did not want to cry because I believed crying was useless. I did not cry willingly and hated it when I cried. I did not talk to anyone about the pain I carried inside me for the same reason I did not cry. I kept my pain inside and chose not to talk to people because I believed that talking was useless. Talking would not change the situation or the circumstances. As a result of this belief system, I kept everything inside, all my hurt and all my tears. I realize now my philosophy on crying and talking to others was faulty and did me nothing but harm.
I have learned this past sixteen months that crying can be therapeutic and healing . I found it is true that crying and talking about my pain does not change my situation or the circumstances. But that’s okay because I have learned that crying and talking about my pain changes me. When I cry these days, I cry in the direction of my Heavenly Father believing and experiencing that He comforts those who mourn and hurt. I have learned as I cry in the direction of my Heavenly Father that it is possible to cry as a result of deep pain yet have hope and peace at the same time.
My philosophy about crying these days is this: It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to express pain and hurt through tears. It’s okay to talk and let someone else in on your pain. And even though the circumstances may not change, you can change and rise above the circumstances that caused your pain.
Go ahead. Grab a box of Kleenex or a hankie and cry in God’s direction. Take time to mourn and weep and pour out your heart to Him. Ask God to teach you how to cry if you need to. Ask Him to comfort you while you express your hurt with tears. Ask Him to sit next to you while you cry. Trust your hurts and tears to a Heavenly Father Who loves you and will speak peace and comfort and healing to your wounded soul.
Bible References
Psalm 77:1: “I cry out to God without holding back…” (New Living Translation)
Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:…a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance…”
Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Matthew 5:4: “Blesssed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.”
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